The Curious Observations of Faintly Snuffulous the Marque Of The Lower Interior
5,000 spiders long and 20,000 eels across there lie the ill begotten monolith....prostrated in utter delinquency as if swollen on an intoxicant most ethereal in nature and manipulating it's garnet in a most frightful way. The obsidian on the other hand protruded past the mind. I must say the great rock did know the kiss of lavender and moss but in it's knowing quite forgot it's duty to boundaries for it did melt into the roots so as to disfigure it's individual status into something grander, a scape of lotus sweeping; it's mica leagues as the crow flies casting shadow and eye in it's angular curiosity. Considering these inalienable observations there could be little hesitation in the true knowledge that the temple sprawled alongside this monolith crept across our good earth with such audacity against known things and the reality of them for it was a loud cacophony against the eye. The architecture therein submits to no known laws and therefor it is an outlaw itself that robs one of their senses and leaves them befuddled, fanning oneself on the floor as if a woman with the case of the vapors most fearful in intensity.
"Who is priest here?" I asked the natives.
They said, "There is no priest."
"Who is god here?" I asked the natives.
"There is no god." They replied.
"Well well I say! No god no god; how do you do it?" I inquired quite quite-ed and quite-ing as it were.
"It is most irregular to erect a temple with no god", I informed them for I come from a learned world of academia and the intellect in all mental curiosities but apparently they did not care for my great prestige for one spat there upon the ground so the buttercups quivered under the shattered derogatory mucus.
"We worship the votive ones." He spake with flipping clippy tongue and much other noises besides one could hum to it.
"I say do you say that you worship the worshipers or some such riddling?"
"Well, yes, they own the eyes after all!"
Then I took a single step back from the tendrils emitting mystery to my senses, confusing my logic for I understood their eyes were made of the most exquisite blown glass and explained the uneasy gaze I found myself under for they did not blink within their sockets because moister was not needed nor anticipated upon their crafted pupils.
"Did they take your eyes?" My mouth asked.
"We gave them readily in exchange for something greater."
"What could possibly be greater then the faculty of sight that you would so gouge and disfigure your own persons?"
"The confoundment of wise men."
"Surely you jest?"
"We do so jest but it is a point well made."
"Where are your eyes?"
"In jars,.... in hands..... on stones.... it is all the same to us."
"Can I enter the temple?"
"Yes, but first you must surrender your sight."
"My good sirs it is that very faculty I wish to administer on the inside of said temple. Going inside would be pointless without them!"
"Exactly."
"Exactly what?"
"The whatness is in fact exact, you are correct."
"Oh bother! This conversation is quite pointless."
"That may be a truth."
Then my friend the most amazing spectacle transpired for one native so did sneeze and hiccup at the same time and yon round glass orb eye did shoot out of his head to the one who spake leaving him insensible on the ground and then that same one eyed man so outraged with his own indiscretion looked around wildly and ran into the temple where I heard a loud clank as if a lock were being secured and that is when I knew the lord Jesus did not walk here and if you but knew the word there would be no such barbaric incident as eyeball projectiles conquering the faculties of another.
In this endeavor I knew that I was right, for Jesus would let us keep our eyes right where they are.
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