News Article Explaining Economics In A Very Logical And Articulate Manner

Astronauts  have illegally obtained classified footage that they put on youtube for all to see from a camera that is a fake eye. The eye was kind of hazel but also cracked. Suspicions were raised about the space pirate wearing the eye patch to cover the fact that he is not blinking. He did not cover the fact that he was a spy. The eye camera was then buried in a voodoo ritual, it is mandated in some mossy law somewhere and congress couldn't get it together on time to over turn it. There was simply nothing for it, it had to be done. The footage shows a view from space revealing that the world is flat. The space pirate’s eye was then the cause of the rising of the dead in Haiti and the zombie priest plucked the moon out of the sky and put it into the American currency circulation by investing in the stock market. That would have been okay when the moon was full but as time went by it waned and even became gibbous and spooky. That is why we are in a recession and the stock market all but exploded with roving packs of werewolves.

Short Story Within A Short Story folk tale about philosophy, gardens and blue apples

A short folk tale that appears in a long short story I wrote 

“Harkin! Once upon a time there were no farmers and humans wandered, taking this berry or that and chewin' on this or that there root as they liked. You see, the garden is a gathering of vegetables and fruits that the hungary vagabond might come across on a walk around but this garden floats in time and space for fear of the same hungary vagabond, a fearin' that he might enjoy the food so much that he would build a house right there and then bring his family and in doin' just that he would then be  bringin' a village and mayhaps in a moment of blind Eeee- rrationality he would a build and build up so that a paved city there would be where no vegetables can grow accept in REGulated areas. Then they got to thinkin', it was either that or become a city of their own making and then when the village came they would find themselves inside the outside. 

Ah! That was smart yes-sir-eee-bob! And harkin! When the garden found a particularly good patch they then a grew vast windows and open doors and in a seein', the humans disowned cement and mortar and became the ones farmed.

What fruits can humans produce you may ask?

Their unique perception, that's what! That so does arrange and organize a one's reality, organically sewn into the fabric of the garden so it was as a tapestry and in going bout the work of craftin' and weavin' and spinnin' up this here artistic endeavor did the blue apples appear that when you eat em' had the unique character to take the eater's mind which is but a part of the garden and reflect it upon the whole. It was in one of those dispositions that a mind did wonder oh where oh where did the sky go? And so in his spirit body he did peak out of the rind that encompassed all and in a peakin' he so did see a giant pluck the orbed world with him contained inside and with two or three violent bites a yum a yum a yum......did but the core of his reasoning remain. Tossed aside upon the ground then did the seeds germinate into twenty instead of one and only then was it clear that it twern't nothin' more then the head of the hydra that is severed when a body dies even such a one as an entire world.

The end."

Fragment of short story witty banter fantasy about religion and poot the votive statue

"Here! This is the last of our chickens. go to the market and get some ginger."

"For the beans?"

"Wha?! For the….for the beans?! Are you mad? For our figure at the temple!"

"What are you going on about woman? It's a votive statue….it doesn't need …ginger….it doesn't even have a proper mouth!"

"This ginger is not for eating! It's to be given as an offering…you know….to the god we worship?! What is it going to give the gate keeper then tell me that, eh?"

"Look, I traded two chickens,  one of my nicest pots and my very own marker medallion for this…..shit!"

"Keep your voice down oy!"

"Yeah yeah…..I'm just sayin, votive statues all this….."

he said gesturing to the ornate temple at the center of the village…..

"it's all bullshit."

"But I'm the village medium I am and I ain't bullshittin."

"But honey suckle your aren't the village medium it is your step sister, remember?"

"I don't have a step sister."

"What they got divorced already?"

"Of course not, you can't get divorced that's why I'm stuck with you."

"But you said you had a step sister twice removed and then this long story I half listened to."

"So….you don't listen to my stories, eh?"

"No sugar dumpling, I mean yes!" Heppo said fawning over his voluptuous wife. "I'm not saying anything bad about you sugar bottom. we could get some sugar instead of ginger…..for the beans…..it would save us half a chicken!"

"HURUMF! Well someone's a medium whoever that may be and I KNOW I know…..that there is such things inside of us as souls and more besides! If your not fearin then why yous bought the statue then, tarry and way you are afraid of the darkness, the mad creeping darkness and the eye that looks into our own and sees naught but itself!"

"No, actually wife…I am not….I just don't want undo attention from the priest's military."

 "Ohhhhh…un do… he says…that's big talkin there for a potter husband, I should have listened to my mother and married the butcher…..a man becomes practical beein' round blood and guts like he."

"He smells like rotten pig and looks like rotten pig and he's also a rotten pig!"

"Humf! better then a…..grasshopper that talks like a…..ummmmm…..peep frog or something."

"Nice try honey."

"Hurmf! I would know better then you if I did know which I may or may not."

"That's the best argument for anything I've ever heard…."

"Well then that settles it! You ARE getting ginger for poot and that is that……I'm not going to have him carrying my eternal soul and getting stuck at the gate of light it just won't do."

"You NAMED it? and you named it Poot?"

"What else would I name it, it looks like a Poot."

"Well, fine dearest honey suckle bottom……I will get the ginger but all of this….all of THIS….."

He waved his hand at society….

"Is bull."